Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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