You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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