She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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