Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
