I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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