I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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