hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
