Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
last night I used snow as a chaser
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
