STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
