Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
