The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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