If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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