Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
