I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have post one night stand depression
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
