I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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