Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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