My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
