I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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