so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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