I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
