I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
