And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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