this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
