I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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