You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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