Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize