I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
