So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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