is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
