WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
