mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My vagina just recognized that song.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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