so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
