Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
