I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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