i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
