Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
