dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
