i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
