no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize