ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
