If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
