Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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