4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
