yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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