just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize