I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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