I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
