thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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