I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
