just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you didnt know i had herpes?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
