In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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