Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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