Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
