We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
