mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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