It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
