he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
