xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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