Umm I'm too high to move.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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