that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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