capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
