I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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