This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
