I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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