i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
