You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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