I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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