i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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