also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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