i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
