I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
