I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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