it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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