is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
